You've got people you call friends. From the outside, your social life probably looks okay - maybe even enviable.

But the quieter truth is that very few of those people actually understand you. You present a version of yourself that's friendly and easy to be around. You're there for people. But wonder, sometimes, if you care more about your friendships than your friends do. And when you're having a hard day, or you need help, something in you would rather manage it alone than risk the shame of having to ask others for help.

If any of that sounds familiar - I made a 90-minute training about exactly this. Not just "how to make more friends." Something underneath that.

The one thing I want you to take from this training

Most friendship advice assumes the problem is surface level - that you don't know how to make small talk, or you haven't put yourself 'out there' enough. That was part of my experience, but it wasn't the whole thing, and I don't think it's yours either.

The real block is usually a belief. That it isn't okay for you to have wants, needs and preferences in your friendships. That asking for help, or letting someone see you struggle, is somehow not allowed. Most of us were taught - quietly, over years - to keep the peace, make ourselves easy, not rock the boat, and be grateful for whatever we're given.

That belief is the root. Everything else - the loneliness that persists even when your diary's full, the friendships that feel one-sided, the exhaustion of always being the one who shows up - grows out of it. This training is about naming that belief and giving you three concrete ways to start working against it.

Who this is for

This is for thoughtful, genuine, independent people who care about building more friendships that feel a bit more giving, a bit more honest. People who aren't afraid to look honestly at themselves, to figure out what's going ton, and to start to build new habits, even when that's uncomfortable.

You're kind and open-minded. You probably like your own space. And you'd like to feel more seen, valued and supported in your closest relationships - you're just not sure where to start.

Who this isn't for

This isn't for you if you're after a quick fix to make people like you more, or a way to look like you have loads of friends without actually building the depth.

It's not for people who are living in denial about what's really going on in their friendships. And it's not for people who aren't willing to put the work in - because this does ask something of you. If you want things to change, you have to be prepared to do some things differently. This training will show you what, and why - but the doing part is yours.

The three lessons

Lesson one: If we want our friendships to change, we have to change how we do our friendships.

Most of us are running the same formula - keep being good, kind, thoughtful, reliable, and eventually people will see our value and give us what we need back. I'll show you why that formula quietly breaks down, and what to do instead.

Lesson two: It's not just okay to follow your friendship wants, needs and preferences - it's necessary.

If lesson one leaves you wondering "but am I even allowed to want something different?" - this is the answer. I'll explain why knowing (and voicing) what you actually need isn't selfish, it's the thing that lets people show up for you properly.

Lesson three: To build real friendships, we have to let people see who we really are - even if that means some of them disagree with us

This is the one that matters most. I'll walk you through what genuine vulnerability actually looks like day to day (it's smaller, and safer, than you think), and why it's the only route to building genuinely meaningful friendships.

There's more underneath all three lessons that 90 minutes can't fully cover - how to tell early on whether someone actually has your best interests at heart, how to hold a boundary without the guilt spiral that usually follows, and so on. So I'll also point you to where you can go to build on the work in the video.

Why it's built this way

Ninety minutes, not a full day - because this isn't about overwhelming you with theory, it's about giving you three ideas you can actually hold onto and start using straight away. Alongside each lesson there are short reflection exercises, because insight on its own doesn't change anything - you need a moment to apply it to your own life while it's fresh. It's a replay rather than a live session, because I'd rather you're able to watch it properly, at a time that suits you, than have to fit it in around everything else you have going on at the moment.

What you'll take away

You'll understand exactly why your current friendship 'formula' isn't getting you the closeness you want, even though you're doing everything you think you're supposed to. You'll have the words for what you actually want and need from your closest friendships - probably for the first time. And you'll know what a small, safe first step toward being more visible with the people around you could look like this week.

I can't promise you'll feel instantly different, or that every friendship will transform overnight. What I can promise is that you'll leave with three clear, usable ideas, and a genuinely different way of understanding what's been going on.

A bit about me

I'm Hannah Carmichael, a yoga-loving, seriously coffee-dependent friendship coach with ADHD and a passion for helping good people find the closeness, support and connection they deserve. My own crunch point came after I lost my dad suddenly in 2016. Despite years of 'doing everything right' in my friendships, I couldn't draw in the support I needed most. It took me three years of real work to understand why - and to build the kind of friendships I actually have now - including transforming the friendships I already had. This training is the short version of what took me so long to learn.

"Hannah is the queen of space-holding, compassion, connection and depth. She is able to meet you where you are in life, and honours you and your experience by truly seeing you."

— Noelle Johnson, 44 (Sydney, Australia)

What happens next

Right at the end, I'll talk to you about New Shoots, Deep Roots - the step-by-step course and community I've built for people who want to keep going once the 90 minutes are up. It's for anyone who wants to move from feeling like an outsider in their own friendships to being someone who's genuinely known, chosen, and understood by the people who matter most. I'll send you some more information about New Shoots, Deep Roots once the training is over, too.

Sound good? Get the video training now - it's free! Just enter your email address below.